Hi there Steve,
I’m sorry to hear that your friend’s having some challenges with his gateway.
If you’re able to get connected, you can reset your Harmony Gateway to factory defaults by clicking on the “i” icon from your connection settings screen for the gateway. You’ll see a big red “Factory Reset” button there. If the device keeps disconnecting, it might be in a fault loop where a power cycle might help stop that. You can notice if it’s in this pattern by looking for the green network LED on the bottom of the gateway to go out for a few seconds and then solid on for about 30 seconds and then start blinking again…and then go out and then solid again and repeating this pattern.
The upgrade instructions are outlined here – http://wiki.smartenit.com/index.php?title=Harmony_Gateway_Firmware_Upgrade
I hope that helps!